How to Take Care of Knees for Clubbers

First, let me just say that I have been going out dancing on and off for the last 14 years and now I am old. Not to get maudlin on you dear reader, but some body parts hurt now in my mid thirties. This is the first review of what I do to keep going. How I take care of my knee!

Preparedness:
"A good offense is a good defense” I am not really sure what that means but to me it means doing exercises that make knees stronger. Those include weight lifting and yoga. One of the secrets to knee strength is building up the muscles that connect and support the knees. The trick is to both build muscle and stay flexible. It really works. Another good idea is building stamina for those occasional all night parties. There are only like 12 a year in San Francisco these days, or ones with good music.

On the dance floor:
Stretching is really helpful especially when I am starting to feel pain or tightness. It is also go pre and post dancing, but don't get caught doing it cause then you will look like a dork who is trying too hard or an old person in a sea of 20 something’s. Go into a dark corner or a bathroom stall, and try to really vocalize stretching out the muscles. Your vocalizing will keep unwanted visitors out of your space and will make those near by think that they need to get away from you. If your legs hurt too bad you can just do the upper body trance dance and maybe wiggle your hips but do not move your feet or knee and definitely no grinding or pumping action. You can also just open your cell phone standing there and pretend to talk on it on the dance floor, people have been doing that here in the bay area for the last 10 years. That move makes you look important.

Go ask Alice:
Pills help. Any pill that disassociates you from your body can make your knee feel better! But when you get old, being slightly retarded the next day starts getting old. So you take another look at the pills mother gives you and you understand that they actually do something! They take away physical pain. Please note do not take Tylenol its key ingredient Acetaminophen is straight up poison for your liver, esp. mixed with alcohol. Acetaminophen is also the other main ingredient to vicodan, so straight codeine is good and percoset is very nice. Ibroprophene can be a help with music pain, but it is dehydrating. So don’t recklessly mix with alcohol.

Other stuff that helps:
Good shoes. I personally like running shoes but it is like telling fashion to piss off. So maybe when you know you need to look like a normal person, wear shoes that you would imagine wearing on a long walk. Never wear high heels if you are serious about dancing, but wear high heels if you are serious about looking good. That goes for all genders.
Ointments. Nothing like getting all lubricant covered after dancing. Well, try traumeel for where it hurts, that stuff rocks and is 10x better than arnica. Tiger balm is good too, from what I have heard it is fun to put on your area when you are on one of those pills that make you stupid. “It’s like a party in your pants”

I hope this review helps and increases the peace between you and your body. Remember, you might have to get old but you don’t have to get tired.